Your Guide To Emotional Maturity
I’d say that our country (U.S.) isn’t the best when it comes to emotions. It might sound wild at first, but the evidence is there. Around 50% of all drivers in the United States of America, participate in road rage. As a result, there are 30 deaths a year!
And, as you guessed it, this is what emotional immaturity looks like. Those who are emotionally immature blame others, lack self-control, and can’t cope with intense feelings. On the flip side, these are the qualities of those that are emotionally mature. 1
Swallow Your Pride
You’re walking and someone accidentally steps on your shoes. “Uh-uh, no one does that to me!”, you say. So you push that someone and return the favor. Ego is what makes us uncomfortable when we’re in the wrong. We don’t want to be viewed badly by others. In this case, you can only take a deep breath and be thankful for what you have.
We all suffer or have suffered from negative bias. Briefly speaking, negative bias simply means that we notice negative experiences more than positive ones. The bad news is that our minds are designed to think this way. Some speculate that we think this way as a means of survival. If you were hunting and escaped a tiger, you’d remember the tiger and probably wouldn’t go back, for instance.
The good news is that your brain can be reprogrammed to notice the positives more. One way to do this? Just be thankful for everything you have. Get a gratitude journal or a piece of paper and write down three or more things you’re grateful for each day. It will take time, but eventually, your mind will start to automatically look at the bright side more. 2
Everyone is subject to feelings and emotions. Despite all this, we aren’t supposed to let emotions control us. The emotional mature understand that emotions and feelings don’t last forever. They also acknowledge that all emotions are useful and that there’s no such thing as “positive” or “negative” emotions. Each emotion is like a chunk of data, acting as signs.
For example, you see birds eating roadkill, but you feel disgusted. You know what you’re seeing isn’t an everyday thing. Strategies to control your emotions would be to show gratitude, deep breathing, and positive self-talk (mantras). For instance, if you’re stressed, you might tell yourself, “I don’t control what happens in life”, or “Not everyone is going to like or agree with me”.